A good number of years ago, my small family decided together that we are much more suited toward a celebration of Solstice than we are a celebration of Christmas, so we made the shift and re-shaped these stretch of days in ways that feel much more authentic to us and our particular values and beliefs. It was a relatively simple shift to make. As a kid, my family was hardly religious and the holidays felt a lot like anxiety, expectation, guilt, and disappointment and I definitely wanted to steer clear of that. Chris and I thought for a minute that we would celebrate Christmas with my family, but when we observed all of that pressure come down on our first toddler- whether we were the arbiters of that or if it was simply the residue of our own childhood discomfort- we decided to scrap what had been and make something new.
So, that is what we have done. I have gotten a few questions over the years regarding what that looks like for us and I figured I would share that here, as it is now. It has definitely taken a number of years to take shape in a way that feels both simple and true, but other than that brief moment yesterday when the vibe was derailed by the worry that Maple might flunk her freshman year of high school, the day was our best Solstice yet.
First, I want to share what the story is for us with gifts, as this is so often the preoccupation for many of us around this time of year, as much as we might wish it were otherwise. For me, I kind of look at it as a build-out and the gifts that we choose for one another are like the ground of our design. They sort of stir up our creative juices, but are by no means the central piece. For the most part, we each give one gift to each other, unless there was a big ask in which case we will gift it together. I try to make sure that I am making gifts myself as well as shopping small and local and handmade as much as possible. It is warm and cozy that way. We exchange and open gifts on the Solstice, sometimes we need to shift it by a day or two as work and school dictate, but this year we were on the proper day which in my opinion is always best. I want to note though, and be very clear, that on the 25th we open stockings. We make that day about the magic of the season, the wonder of elves, and tomtens, and the inexplicable, and that seems to work just fine for us. We all love story and myth and metaphor and if there is a magical and benevolent bearded gift giver to believe in, well then I am on board. Same with a bunny. Same with whatever fairy you want to throw at me. I am in. Even if it is completely irreligious and secular and especially if its origins are the pulse and shift of the earth and her seasons.
Ok. So that is that. What we do otherwise is just try to keep it simple. I enjoy making cookies and cakes and peppermint bark and we all love food and the special associations of some foods with some days and so we definitely emphasize food. But it is in no way rigid or dogmatic. Yesterday we ate nachos, lol. But I imagine over the next stretch of days we will see an upside-down cake and some ham and scalloped potatoes and salads with citrus and pomegranates and candied nuts and hard cheeses. We will make a fruit yogurt that we have been enjoying for years. I did suggest that we make chilaquiles for breakfast on the 25th this year and I am feeling particularly excited about that. Years ago, my friend Rachel Wolf who is also a long-time Solstice celebrator, shared with us the concept of “cookie plate” and we definitely live into that. It doesn’t work quite as well now as when the kids were all small and the idea of an unlimited amount of cookies to eat held real sway, but it still fun and special.
During the day we emphasize games and stories with one another. We are really into phase 10 right now and can’t stop, so that is fun. Other than the fact that they won’t let me knit while I play which is bullshit if you ask me. They say I am too slow with a project in my hands. Boo to that. In the evenings we try to make sure the kids are exposed to all of the right, and some of the wrong, holiday movies. That is a task, for sure. And on pause for a moment until Maple’s course work is complete… I am always on the lookout for seasonal books and stories to lean into during this season. We have quite a collection and I am happy to share more details but for the moment I am just going to mention a new book for us this year, A Return of the Light: Twelve Tales from Around the World for Winter Solstice by Carolyn McVickar Edwards. This is great for where we are as a family right now and is a wonderful addition to all the beloved books geared toward the younger crowd. Which by the way, I absolutely live for, but have a much harder time getting everyone to snuggle up with me for these days. Wilfred though! He is just getting started with all of these beautiful picture books and I am over the moon about that.
Other than all of this- not much! -the big thing is fire. Obviously.
We try to emphasize the flame in the dark as much as possible. In years past, we have gathered with our friends and community for a big potluck and village-wide Blazing Solstice Pyre. That is basically perfect for me. This year, we had to make our own, and Chris, who tends our forest with aplomb, seriously made that happen yesterday. I love a good, huge, fire and if not on Solstice, when??? I would love to see The Fire become something that we can host here for our future local community when gathering returns. Like the light. Returns.
I love to have lots of candles in the house during this time of year as well. In the past, we have gathered with another old Viroqua friend to make hand-dipped beeswax candles and that was the best. I think it probably began as something we did at the Holiday Faire at the local Waldorf School and then morphed into something we did at home. I love making candles. For a number of years I would make soy-based candles in thrifted teacups and that was super fun and I will probably do it again but beeswax is really my favorite for sure. This year, my friend Liz turned me on to The Foundry and that has been amazing. And horrible. Everything they have is perfect. Our family’s Solstice gift was a big beeswax pillar and beautiful hexagonal tapers and stands. Love love love. Big and exciting news is that Maple is interested in starting an apiary in 2021 from local bees here in Morrisville- once we get her tested for bee allergy, fingers freaking crossed on that. I would love to have our own beeswax. And honey. One of her gifts from the elf is The Beekeeper’s Bible which I look forward to diving into as well.
Alright well, I think that is the most of it. Hopefully, I will get my act together to get cards in the mail this week or next, and then it is on to the joys of January and some fresh yoga programming and other small business pursuits, new knits on needles, Maple’s 15th birthday omg omg omg, and some real hunkering down for the heart of winter in the north.