I just got off the phone with Chris, who woke up in Albany this morning with Eider. They are there for a few lacrosse tournament games with the 802 club team this morning and then to see some PLL games in the afternoon. That means Premier Lacrosse League in case you were wondering and it is a thing. Very exciting for my dudes. Lacrosse season is full send over here right now, with town teams wrapping up and all sorts of games and playoffs to get psyched about, and club getting reading to become all-consuming just in time for summer tournaments. It explains in part why I have been so scarce over here this past month. In part.
We hosted my sister and nephew for most of May, with shorter visits from her partner and our mama. It all landed right as our cars all seemed to shit the bed and so we have been a very full house trying to figure out how to keep all of the moving parts moving on a deficit of vehicles. It has been interesting, to say the least. I feel like I must have unlocked half a dozen new caretaker badges this month and I am feeling both proud of my capacity and also crazy grateful for the opportunity to have so many folks to love in my life. My family headed back to Wisconsin Friday morning and while it is nice to settle into the rhythm of the five of us, it is also hard to not know when I will see them again. The distance sucks. They need to move to VT already… cuz I am never leaving. Sorry mom.
Anyhow, the home rhythm right now is very much the wrapping up of the school year, putting the garden in, the growing anticipation for our time in Maine, and also just a shit ton of lacrosse games. We spent the whole day yesterday at back-to-back games in Stowe, with Eider “cooking up” 11 goals and 4 assists. He was on fire and it was amazing to watch. The second game went into double sudden-death overtime and Chris rallied all of the sidelines with the declaration that this might actually be the most fun we could possibly have as parents and we whooped and hollered and for those 8 minutes, I do believe we all were sure he was exactly right.
It is a pleasure to witness your kid giving themself to something that delights them and right now in our family that is Eider playing lacrosse. After several years made awkward and difficult by circumstance and puberty, this spring Eider is 6 inches and however many pounds bigger and more powerful and spends hours most days when he is not at practice out in the yard shooting and running his own drills. He is committed right now and it is a joy to witness. It helps to have a papa who played division one lax and who has been patiently waiting to see if the initial interest sparked in 10-year-old Eider might take root in the teen. For now, it looks like it has. Listen, I really do not know anything about this game other than that it is fun to watch and our son is beautiful out there, but yesterday Chris told me that Eid already has more leftie goals than he did in his entire career and well I guess that feels like something.
Here is the other piece that makes all of this so interesting and exciting to me: sometime this winter, Eid gave up the Xbox. He spent most of the past three years getting good at a game called apex legends and it was where the majority of his free time and attention went. But this winter he just stopped. All on his own and with zero fanfare. But as a kid whose only ask for gifts over the past several years has been the newest custom controller it did feel like a bit of an about-face. We have talked about it now quite a bit- I am who I am and that is essentially a mama who puts it all out on the table and really digs into what is alive or changing in my children. I cannot help myself. We talk about everything and we certainly talked about and processed this one. His reflections have to do with losing interest in being excellent at the video game anymore as his ability in sports began to take hold again. Puberty was rough for him between shin splints and plantar fasciitis and covid and culture- it was all a lot. He wanted something that he could get really good at and apex was it for awhile. It gave him a sense of community and connection and he needed that. It also took up a ton of his time and tended toward more impulsive and aggressive interaction with people on the internet. Big surprise. As his folks, we tried to apply boundaries and keep him cognizant of the effect his game time was having on him, but I was also very clear that I in no way wanted to alienate or shame our kid for his interest in video games. It is a dicey terrain to be sure.
In the end, it appears he got there on his own. He realized he didn’t want to spend so much time getting and staying good at it. Kinda a sweet and sneaky outcome of his hyper-competitive nature. He decided on his own that he wanted to spend less time in his room and more time hanging out with us. He got interested in sports and culture and decided to follow those pursuits, getting excellent elsewhere.
And it is excellent. He is such a good and kind and thoughtful and funny and ambitious kid. Truly, I adore him. Yesterday after his team’s defeat in the final sudden death, following some tears and inevitable regret, he rallied to love on his teammates and get psyched for the next game. Some kids from his school had shown up to watch him and another kid on his team play and in the car on the way home Eider reflected that he wished he didn’t care about them knowing what a good player he is… Chris and I had to pick our jaws up off the floor and just marvel at the fact that our 14-year-old even has awareness around such a desire. I mean, do I? Do you? I sure hope so but gee whiz if there is anything that seems reasonable to feel it is that you might impress your peers with your athletic prowess. Good grief. What a kid.
So they are out there today. And I am home with Maple and Freddy and no car (and no debit card- it has been an interesting week!) gearing up to put in more of the garden and get ready for June in all of its fullness. I get to cheer him on at another home game tomorrow and I can’t wait. Especially for the high fives and hugs that come after.
Thanks for reading. More soon. xxx