If you track me on the socials, you have probably seen that I am working on these weekly Instagram lives to share my Beautycounter why with the whole gd world. As if lol. At any rate, I was in a coaching and accountability group for 5 weeks this summer and my particular coach, who is seriously just right for me, challenged me to be more direct and less middle-aged white lady apologetic and yowsa as much as this endeavor hovers right on the edge of cringe for me and for sure on the far end of my comfort zone I am also 100% here for the push right now. So, doing it. We shall see for how long and what happens from it but it seems to me that the more that I can center myself inside of authenticity and truth I should be ok. I think I am ok.
Anyhow, yesterday I mused for a moment on an aspect of my why that revolves around information sharing and my deepening connection to what a big value that is for me. In all things. I mean, at the heart of it that is what this blog is all about. Sharing info and also just like upending my guts from time to time. But maybe that is information sharing too? Perhaps a stretch but maybe just normalizing feelings and experiences is useful to share.
So here we are. And in the past few months, I have been chewing on some of the foundational component pieces of choosing much of what I have chosen in this life. As I interact with more and more folks that are more on the front end of their parenting journies, it has been helpful for me to trace a lot of my choices back a bit. From engagement in a yoga asana practice that is mostly a solitary pursuit that takes place in the privacy of my own home; to home-educating our kiddos past and future. I am on pause from the latter in a sense rn and these considerations seem to be much of the work of the season. And what I have been more and more aware of is the way in which there is a fundamental question that must be asked and answered before the decision to stay home is ever made, to begin with. In homeschooling certainly, but I think that it can also be applied to the pursuit of a personal practice that lives primarily at home.
It is very much a practical question that sets theory aside, and one that is most likely only asked once the endeavor of caregiving has commenced. It is this: does the idea of sending my kids off for much of the day most of the days of the week sound amazing or can I not even fathom not seeing my kids most of every day? That is it. It is a super basic, incredibly straightforward question and in my experience, the answer generally presents itself straight away. (It is a little more abstract when we ask a similar question as it pertains to yoga but I will do my best to craft the connection.) Hopefully, it is at least mostly clear that this is also a question that cannot be answered until the kids have arrived on the scene. We can theorize til the cows come home about what we may or may not do as parents before we actually are, but I do not think that we can know for sure until we are looking at and loving our small charges in the flesh. There is simply too much at play to feel it for real until we have them with us.
I certainly had no thought of homeschooling really at all until the time came to not have them with me for most of our days. Now, put all other advantages or disadvantages aside regarding homeschooling- this is not that conversation. This is simply the very first question to ask and answering it honestly will tell you everything you need to know to choose wisely for you and your fam. How do you feel when you think about them going off to school for most of the day? How do you feel when you think about being together all day for most of every day? And however you answer is perfect. Truly. No shade. Homeschooling may or may not be for you based on how you answer and that is excellent information to inform your decisions. It really is. It is the prerequisite. I suppose the parallel question as it pertains to yoga would center around your personality and how you find restoration or nourishment. Perhaps centering your practice efforts at home on your own is best for you if you are an introvert. Maybe that space and quiet creates the perfect context for you to most effectively digest what you are learning from your teachers as well as explore the laboratory of your own inner workings.
The second question is, if you decide to keep them home, can your family economy support that decision? This very well could be a black-and-white answer depending on what phase and stage your life is in. When we first had school-aged kids we were at the front end of any career building and so we shaped ourselves around our lifestyle desires. Also, all of our initial examples of families that were homeschooling had each crafted their working lives to be flexible and adaptive in order to support the choice to stay home. Many families had their own businesses that both partners were working at different intervals. When Chris and I first were parents we had no cash for childcare, or much of anything at all tbh, and we just traded off. When he walked in the door, I walked out, and vice versa. By the time Maple was preschool age, Chris’ work had filled out substantially and I had to get childcare in order to still have time to teach- but also to simply have time for me, which is essential when you are on your own as a caregiver most of every day. But we always have had to do the math around the work choices that we make for me in terms of there being a profit or not. If my leaving the house to teach only breaks even with the cost of having someone care for the kids during those hours, then it is generally not worth it for our family. Much of my career choices have been shaped by that question. This is why the work that I can do at home and mostly in the presence of my kiddos has evolved and grown over the years- but that is another post!
Again, this is an important question and one that needs to at least mostly be addressed when considering home ed. Because if you answer the first question and realize that yes indeedy do you are gonna lose your shit if you don’t spend the majority of your time with your kiddos during the brief (yet unending) window of time that they live in your house… well then you may want to consider revamping how you make a living in order to support that. However! You may not have that luxury and/or level of privilege and while that may feel like it fucking sucks, choosing wisely here may be the absolutely most loving choice that you can make for your kidlets and also for you. Single parents, I see you.
As it applies to yoga, the choice to practice at home may very well be a financial one and may indeed be the difference between whether practice happens or not. Or just getting crafty and thrifty about how it can happen. And also by checking in with teachers and studios about scholarship and trade options. Of which there should always be some, and if not, find a new teacher/studio.
That is all. I hope this helps. Basically, just don’t overthink it. Answer the first question honestly and go from there. More soon. xxx,m